To those of you who’ve been childfree for any length of time, you’ve probably hear just about every
excuse reason in the world why you should breed. In the CF circles, we refer to such idiocy as ‘bingoing’.
(This is just one example of what we hear all the fucking time.)
Just for shits and giggles, I’m going to pick apart each and every one of these…because I can. 🙂
It’s different when it’s your own!
No shit, Sherlock…that’s because I’d be chained to the little snot maggot/petri dish 24/7.
Your child could grow up to cure cancer!
That worked out so well for Adam Lanza and Elliot Rodger, didn’t it?
People like you SHOULD have kids!
People like you SHOULD get out of my uterus, and put your head back up your own ass.
You were a baby once, too!
This is probably one of the MOST idiotic bingos anyone will ever hear. None of us chose to be here, none of us chose to be babies at one point.
(Daria summed it up best.)
What about the family name?
I’m not royalty…and even if I were, I don’t give a flying fuck about the famblee name.
Who will take care of you when you’re old?
Breeders ALWAYS accuse the CF of being selfish for not wanting to breed…yet they expect the kids they SELFISHLY brought into this shitty world to take care of them in their later years. I absolutely can’t stand it when breeders assign roles like that to their offspring. (But, in answer to that asinine question, it’ll be someone I pay.)
What if your parents hadn’t had kids?
That’s 7+ billion less people I have to deal with.
The only reason to get married is to have children!
Is that so? I was under the misguided impression that people got married because they loved their partners and wanted to make it legal. My bad.
It’s all worth it!
Keep telling yourselves that…I’ll continue to enjoy my independence, fuck you very much.
The biological clock is ticking!
Another myth perpetuated by our overly natalistic society.
You’ll change your mind!
I won’t change my mind…but who’s to say breeders don’t have regrets? Checkmate, bitches!
If everyone didn’t have kids, the human race would die out!
I could just as easily flip the script; if everyone had kids, the human race would die out. Think about that one…we would more likely die out from overpopulation, rather than underpopulation. Are you up for eating some Soylent Green in the not-too-distant future?
But the Bible said, “Go forth and multiply!”
What fucking century are you living in again? Besides…not everyone bases their lives on a book of misogynistic fairy tales!
You forget the pain of labor and birth!
Of course…that’s why some mothers like to guilt-trip their kids by stating. “I was in labor with you for 72 hours…and this is what I get?Don’t you love your mother, who struggled to give you life?!”
People who don’t want kids are selfish!
Funny, people usually come up with these reasons for breeding; “My genes are wonderful!” “I want someone to love me unconditionally!” “I want to be taken care of in my old age!” “Mom wanted grandchildren!” “It’s about time I settled down!” (Oh, but I’m selfish…gotcha.)
You aren’t a real adult until you have kids!
This…from a demographic who wants mini-mes to play catch/dress-up/tea party/whatever. This coming from a group of people who have shit fits if their precious darlings aren’t allowed in every venue on the planet. I served my country for over eight years, spent time in a war zone…I’m now going to school and paying bills and rent…but the idiot girls on Teen Mom are real adults? Get the fuck out of my face with that bullshit!
Children are a woman’s greatest achievement!
If your biggest achievement in life is doing something that puts you on par with a cockroach, then congratulations…YOU are a fucking simpleton!
Don’t you want to give your parents grandchildren?
My parents are both deceased…and even if they weren’t, the answer is still no.
It’s the most important job in the world!
No, it isn’t…kindly get the fuck over yourselves.
What’s the matter, don’t you LIKE kids?
I don’t like kids being shoved in my face. I don’t like them enough to tolerate them for long periods of time. Also, see the following links:
https://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/2013/03/19/trigger-warning-breeders-before-you-accuse-cf-people-of-being-evil-take-a-long-hard-look-in-the-mirror/ (Killer Moms)
https://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/2013/03/20/trigger-warning-murderous-breeders-part-2-deadly-dads/ (Killer Dads)
The children are our future!
Yes…and the more you keep piling on, the more the future is fucked.
Don’t you want genetic immortality?
If I’m leaving any sort of legacy behind, it’ll be my written works and videos. Don’t bank too much on ‘genetic immortality’ anyway…you people do realize that your genes are cut by 50% with each subsequent generation anyway.
Nothing is better than that ‘new baby’ smell!
Chocolate, coffee, pizza, roses, vanilla, strawberries, cookies, cake….ANYTHING but shitty diapers, baby barf and milk! :p
Aren’t you curious to see what they look like?
Are you aware of the existence of Photoshop, or are you that technologically inept?
Of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg. If you come across a moron who does this crap, feel free to use my comebacks, or be creative. 😀